The first thing I’d tell you is that you need to lower your expectations a little. Maybe a lot.
Even though I’ve had down times in my life, I’ve generally been a happy person. I feel very lucky about that. When I think about my life and wonder why I feel good when I know so many don’t, I think it’s because I’ve always had low expectations for myself and other people.
I was so fortunate to meet Julie de Azevedo Hanks a few months ago when she spoke at a conference I attended. She is a wonderful, beautiful person who has helped a lot of women, especially in the LDS culture.
I got an advanced copy of her new book called The Burn Out Cure last week. I’ve had my nose inside it all week long. What a great read. Talk about changing your perspective.
If you find yourself disappointed by life, yourself, your family or are generally sad or feel “burned out” on a regular basis, you should probably read this book.
It will open your eyes to a new way of thinking and provide you the permission and give you the tools to cope with your situation.
I won’t lie. This book is probably geared toward women with first-world problems, especially LDS women. Compared to the rest of the suffering world our problems may not compare. But…that doesn’t make our emotional realities any less important or less real to us than any other problem in the world.
I spent several years serving in the Relief Society and saw a lot of joy interspersed with a lot of pain. There are many women out there silently suffering. Overwhelmed by too many things that probably just don’t matter when you get right down to it.
This book will help set women straight. In our culture, many women feel an unrealistic need to follow suit. To live the same life their mothers did, or to be exactly like the neighbor next door who has it all together.
This book will tell you why bad things happen to good people. And…spoiler alert. If something bad is happening to you, it probably ISN’T God punishing you for not being righteous enough. According to extensive research by the author, many women think that.
The book will give readers permission to feel a full-range of emotions, including anger. Did you know that it’s okay to feel anger? This book will tell you a healthy way to both feel and deal with anger and disappointment.
It will also give you permission to say NO even if someone makes a reasonable request of you. Now…any of you who know me well know that I don’t like to say no. The truth is I DO say no. I say it a lot. But I say no to things like wiping down baseboards or changing my sheets on a weekly basis. I say no to keeping my car immaculate or making 7-course meals from scratch. I also say no to most optional church meetings.
I say NO to those things so I have time to say YES to things that are funner and more memorable and things that make me feel alive and give me cool pictures to look back at and say YES! I was there, I did that.
The book will help you take a look back at how you grew up and the way the behaviors you learned as a child have shaped you. It will give you permission to accept or reject the things you learned. It will show you how to choose for yourself how to live, despite what you were taught.
Finally, and most importantly it will help you see why taking care of yourself, even first, will not only result in your own happiness, but will give you the power to amplify your service and love for the people in your life.
I completely recommend The Burnout Cure to anyone. You’ll feel better about your life if you read and apply the principles in this book. Plus, you’ll have more fun.
If you think this book might help you or someone you know, please consider sharing this post on your favorite social media outlet.
For your viewing pleasure, here’s a cute video by Julie de Azevedo that spoofs our Molly Mormon first-world problems.
Julie will be signing books at the Fort Union Deseret Book this Saturday from 11-2. She’ll also be performing her smash new hit Molly Mormon Died Today.