Many women don’t enjoy having babies. I am one of them. It’s not because I don’t love them or because I am a bad person. I do think having babies is worth the effort. And I must say that I consider myself a good mother.
It has come to my attention that many women feel a great amount of guilt about not loving the newborn stage of their babies or not loving breast feeding or not loving several months of interrupted sleep.
Women, please be aware that it is NORMAL to feel this way. I have heard a rumor that some women don’t seem to mind this time. I have to ask myself though…are these women lying? I think they must be. It’s like when a woman tells me that their favorite color is blue. Whatever. I wish they’d just admit it was pink. Pink is obviously the best color, especially for girls.
Anyway. can we all just agree not to judge each other for the decisions we make related to if and when we have babies. Can we all agree that if a woman decides for the sake of her mental health and well- being of the rest of the family not to nurse the newborn that we won’t make her feel like she is poisoning the child by feeding it formula or Reese’s Pieces or whatever she decides to supplement with.
While it might be true that breast milk is best, certainly formula is NOT worst. I can tell you what worst is…it’s me being filled with RAGE while breast feeding. That is the worst. I know because that’s how I felt when I was breast feeding.
Anyway…despite how this sounds, I am certainly a proponent of breastfeeding. That said I am also a proponent helping new mothers recover mental health after the birth of their child, especially if they’ve lost some. So let’s just agree to let people do what they want with regards to how many babies they have and how they feed them once they’re here. Let’s not make them worry about how we might feel about it.
Important also, if you’re the one with the baby…just try not to care so much about what other people may be thinking. Because nine times out of ten, the only thing they are thinking about is themselves.
Love this post! (and your new blog!) I seriously didn’t even want to feed Taylor and I was starting to dislike him when I was breastfeeding! Finally John’s mom pulled me aside and lectured me that it was more important to be a HAPPY mom than to breastfeed! I realized she was right, and LOVED my baby everytime I bottle fed him. That meant alot to me! It took me awhile to get over the guilt, but I was so happy! I have learned that many smart adults were formula fed. It doesn’t matter if you breastfeed or formula feed, it’s more important to love your child with all your heart, and to be a happy mom!
i asked myself for the first couple of months, “why do people do this over and over?!” i finally figured it out the other day…just so their little ones can have someone to entertain them! i may consider a second…maybe! thanks for this post. i so needed to hear it!